In these overwhelming times, remember abundant goodness also exists

I worked in Youngstown when I pregnant with my fourth son and, as with all my pregnancies, I was chronically exhausted. On the long drive to and from work, friends would take turns talking with me on the phone to make sure I stayed awake. These were small, but incredibly helpful, acts of kindness.

Lately I have felt as exhausted as I did when pregnant, which at 58 is no longer a consideration. I have also struggled to eat. The only other time I’ve lost weight this easily was during my divorce (something so common, it’s referred to in medical literature as the “divorce diet”).  

The night before Election Day, I felt weary enough to go to bed at 6 p.m., but that meant I’d awaken at midnight with a mind of worry. I decided instead to look for something light and fun to stream on TV. Sitting on my couch searching for something to watch, I realized that after weeks of doing what I could to help my candidate, all that was left was to wait and see who wins. And that’s when I began to cry. My fatigue and loss of appetite I realized were due to the stress of the campaign season.

For the past several months, I’ve intentionally limited my consumption of articles on the election and how each candidate would impact everything from immigration to the economy, education to health care, foreign policy to national security. But like a bit of diced potato floating in an autumn stew, it has been impossible to avoid absorbing an excess of election news. 

Heightened times feel unique, but they are not. Every generation has faced the likes of natural disasters, wars, dire economies and more. The only thing somewhat new on the global plate of worries is the warming of the planet, which is changing the climate and causing extreme weather events that, in turn, increase the number of refugees fleeing their home countries. But as for intense political polarization in America, it was similar in the 1960s, with violence and upheaval even more prevalent then. 

And this is not the first time in American history citizens have believed their political opponents endangered American democracy. In July 1861, President Lincoln said: “Our popular government has often been called an experiment. Two points in it our people have already settled – the successful establishing and the successful administering of it. One still remains – its successful maintenance against a formidable internal attempt to overthrow it.”

Yes, there was a civil war, but ultimately it did not destroy our democracy.

Caring about something beyond yourself is a good thing. And in overwhelming times like ours it is important to see the abundant goodness that also exists. Yes, work on large issues, for many hands do make a cumulative difference. But little kindnesses, like my friends talking with me when I was pregnant and fatigued, can also have great impact not just on the recipient, but the giver as well.

Share a meal with friends or conversations with strangers in public spaces such as the grocery store. For even greater positive impact, volunteer for something that is meaningful to you, be it people or animals in need or helping with the condition of a park or neighborhood.

I am a Democrat. Most of my extended family members are Republicans and I of course love them. When we talk with one another, they are not “other people” whom I disparage because we don’t always agree. Yes, the GOP has changed dramatically in the past decade and it will continue to do so, as will the Democratic Party. But most Republicans voters I know generally want the same things I do — safe communities, good jobs and schools, affordable housing, food and durable goods. Which policies can accomplish these goals is where we often, but not always, disagree, and where civil discourse should be encouraged.

On Election Day I felt calmer. It was a gloriously beautiful day in Akron and I spent hours clearing leaves from my yards. In the weeks ahead, I will remind myself to stay present in the moment and not to borrow trouble from tomorrow. And should troubles arise, as troubles always do, I will do what I can to resolve them and remember that this, too, is a transient moment in history.

This column was first published in the Akron Beacon Journal on Sunday, November 10, 2024.